Getting to sleep

This is Melissa writing. It's Monday night, November 30. We just got back from Thanksgiving vacation in DC with my family, including my parents and brother's family. Tani particularly loved the time with cousin Max, who is the same age as him (turning 3 in January!). He was very sad to leave today. As I write this, Tani is screaming and crying, "I have a nightmare, I'm lonely." We had gotten into the habit of laying down with him until he was asleep, which meant that whichever one of us put him to bed would doze off and then wake up disoriented without much of an evening left. Tani's teacher encouraged us to help him to put himself to sleep--both for our sakes and for his sake, so that he is able to put himself to sleep. These transitions are hard! Tani just said, "I'm really sad...I want Momma but she's not letting me into her room and I have a nightmare." He also shrieks as part of his cry. The dance of parenting has meant a lot of learning for both of us. I feel calm right now, knowing that this is the right thing to do for our family and for Tani in the long run, even considering how distressed he is right now. He's processing his feelings. If only I could cry like that and let out my anxiety that way! Neysa just whispered that she's not convinced that he's in his bed--I'm thinking it's best to not engage him right now, to let him work through his feelings of separation, abandonment?, loneliness. "Mom, I'm lonely," he just shouted. It's interesting that he hasn't barged into our room-- he understands that he needs to stay in his room. I pray for Tani that the angels watch over him and help him to sleep...it's now forty-five minutes later and all appears to be quiet on the home front. Amen.